Improving Self Confidence
How important is improving self confidence to goals such as getting a job, losing weight, improving your financial situation or your relationships? This may seem like an obvious question, but too often we don’t think about it. For in an important way, self confidence is at the very heart of how we live!
The reason why many people don’t think too much about self confidence is because, for the most part, we simply take our level of confidence for granted. Even if we suffer from low self confidence, it’s not something that consciously causes us pain, it’s simply “the way we are.” However, the results of low self confidence can indeed cause us pain!
The tricky thing about low confidence is that it prevents us from even attempting to achieve our goals. This way, we often don’t even notice what’s happening. We haven’t failed because we never tried in the first place! This is sad, but it’s logical from the point of view of avoiding pain directly, which our minds and emotions are programmed to do.
The real question is whether we can really improve our self confidence. The answer to this is certainly, “YES.” Millions of people do it every day. The main requirement is that you consciously want to try and make up your mind to do it.
There are a variety of techniques, systems, books, therapists, etc. that can help you, but you have to be the one to decide that you are going to make it happen.
Self Confidence vs. Self Esteem
Are self confidence and self esteem the same? Not exactly, but they are closely related. Self esteem is actually even more fundamental, as it’s the way you feel about yourself. Confidence refers to how you project yourself to the outside world. Naturally, there is a close connection between the two. Which should you focus on? Both!
Here are a few simple tips to practice every day to improve your overall levels of both self confidence and self esteem:
*** Don’t be afraid to say “No.” Start off with small matters without serious consequences (you may not want to say “no” to your boss or a police officer unless you are prepared for the consequences!). But many people have trouble even refusing invitations that they’d prefer not to accept, or declining a request to do a favor that inconvenience them. You have the right to your own time and privacy!
***If you tend to speak in a low or soft spoken voice, pick it up a notch. Don’t shout, but focus on expressing yourself forcefully. This will not only change how others perceive you, it will change you you feel inside.
*** Practice initiating things. This just means suggesting or starting a conversation, an activity or an idea. It doesn’t have to be anything earth-shattering. But if you are always the quiet one at a meeting, tell the group of an idea you have. If you feel like saying something to someone (assuming it’s appropriate), say it. Call someone and suggest doing something. Don’t always wait for others to take the initiative.
*** If you aren’t already doing it, start an exercise program, one that is appropriate to your interests, fitness level and schedule. Being physically active is not only good for your health but it affects your body chemistry in a way that gives you more energy…and confidence.
*** Practice looking at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds at a time, several times per day. Try your best to avoid passing any judgment, just look. This may sound silly, but it’s a way to feel more comfortable about yourself.
*** Take the free confidence assessment that can help you understand the whole concept of confidence more clearly.
